Being a mother has worn me down like a used up toothbrush on its second round of life cleaning tile grout. I was feeling disenchanted and just plain over being a wife and mother. Despite feeling completely depleted I knew relief was coming. I was going to my sister-in-law’s bachelorette party in New Orleans where I could let my hair down and really have some fun. I needed to be responsibility free and I couldn’t wait to sleep without the baby, not to mention pee alone!
(Above-Me right after having Rainbow Baby= how I felt emotionally right before leaving for New Orleans)
I’ve never been a partier, but then again, I never really had the time to party. I’ve been a mother for over 9 years. Ever since those 2 pink lines appeared, I’ve had to be different, more responsible and the responsibilities kept coming with every kid, job, life event that followed. Fast forward to the present and getting the opportunity to party seemed like a dream come true, especially at Mardi Gras!
(Above- me on my way out on Mardi Gras eve!)
Living it up at the most sinfully delicious party ever was awesome and exhilarating, yet all the dancing, alcohol and free boobing couldn’t distract me from the fact that I was incomplete here. All the loud music and single ladies dancing made me realize how much I didn’t miss this illusion of freedom I had. Here I was, at the biggest party ever, and I found myself feeling like I’d rather be at home with my husband and kids. I was surprised at what my expectations were versus the reality I found myself living in.
1. I would get to sleep through a night with no baby
2. I would get to party uninhibited at the most uninhibited party ever.
3. I’d get to know my sister-in-law
4. My little rainbow baby would become closer to her dad in the absence.
5. I would be able to scratch the itch I had to rejuvenate myself.
1. I did sleep without the baby. But not well, and hardly at all.
2. I did get to party and had every opportunity to be craze; my boobs came out a time or two, but it wasn’t like I thought it would be.
3. I got to know my SIL better, kinda
4. Rainbow baby DID became closer to her dad, but my milk took a hit (currently rebuilding it)
5. Turns out I had a phantom itch that not only didn’t get scratched, but actually disappeared.
My perspective changed, but reality didn’t. I have the best husband in the world and he is amazing. All the friends I felt like I didn’t have, they have been there all along, doing the mom things I do, loving the same things I love, and I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. I realized my husband, whom I had a tendency to nitpick and nag in all my frustrations and anxiety, was the one who needed my attitude adjustment the most.
(Above-My kids and I the day I got back from Mardi Gras.)
This life of partying and going out, fake boobs, and hookups, make-up and curling irons, it aint me babe! I learned a lot about myself and became a much happier mom, and it wasn’t for the reasons I would have expected. I experienced an emptiness without all the responsibility that I couldn’t have expected.
In reflection, I’m richer for having gone because I realized what I had all along. I’m still dealing with the same frustrations and I’m still getting upset with the same stuff, but I’m changed. I love my life, and no amount of homework battles, housework, baby neediness or husbandly blunders could ever make me change my mind again. Now, a week later, after my original departure, I’m feeling better than ever. I couldn’t wait to go and I couldn’t wait to come back. My life is exactly the way it is because I made it that way! And it’s PERFECT!
(Below- Life, hear me Roar! lol)