I’m on the market! I’m single and ready to mingle…with other moms that is. I don’t have a sister and my very bestest friend in the whole wide world, my soul sister, lives states away so we don’t get to be in each other’s daily lives. So here I am, momming it up and realizing I don’t have someone to chat about all the madness with.
If someone had told me in high school that finding friends as a mom would be so precarious, I wouldn’t have believed them. I mean, I barely survived high school with a friend at all! How could it get harder than that? I soon found out when I went from high school, to my first year of college, straight to motherhood. The window for making friends got dramatically smaller and has stayed that way for a while. There isn’t much time for social calls in between nap time, school, homework, laundry, dishes, a brief moment of silence while peeing and dinner. On top of all of that, finding a mom who isn’t already taken, or rather already has a best friend and confidant, can be tough.
I need to feel connected outside my home, so social media is ok sometimes, but I need more. I like phone calls (about tommy’s teething or Jane’s constipation, lol) and long walks on the beach (chasing children of course). These are the TOP TEN plus 1 characteristics I need in a bestie.
- She should have at least one kid, obviously, but multiple children are preferred so we can commiserate about the same troubles.
- She has to be kind and caring to her kids and her friends. No negative Nancy’s here!
- Preferably she’ll have her shit together and be a stake in the ground. But if her life is a shit storm, that’s ok too. As long as I get to hear the dish first. This leads me to number 4.
- She needs to be classy. Handling life’s bullshit goes so much easier if handled with a little class, BUT
- She needs to be crazy too, because while being classy is often times the best way to handle life, a little peppering of crazy is necessary to remain sane!
- She should have some knowledge about attachment parenting styles even if she herself isn’t really a proponent. She can’t be an opponent. An educated mom even if in opposition is my kind of mom. (But the research is there so we’d likely agreeJ
- She must be selfish, in the way that she MUST leave her kids for girls’ night at least once a year!!!!!
- She should know how to be silly more than serious and should know I need her to be the light-hearted laugh in all of my parenting struggles. I will be that for her.
- I want a mom who puts her words into action; who dreams outside her home once in a while. I have big dreams and I want someone to share those with.
- I need a mom who’s gonna call me first to tell me her good news, (after grandma and grandpa of course, but before social media). I want to feel like family even if I’m not because when I do let someone into my life, you are family to me.
- LOYALTY! This should go without saying, but we are losing this in contemporary society!