I Don’t Feel Crunchy!

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I Don’t Feel Crunchy…

When I think about mom’s who are considered crunchy, my mind instantly conjures up images of hippies, granola, and baby names like Apple!  I hate the term “crunchy” to describe my mom-ness.  Even though a crunchy mom is not synonymous with a hippie; what crunchy means and what people envision when hearing the word crunchy are different.  

So here I am, in my circle of “friends”, always feeling like the “crunchy” mom.  I don’t vaccinate based on years of researcg.  I try to eat organic and local as much as possible.  I practice attachment style parenting and I co-sleep with my infant.  I drink kombucha, oh and I had a home birth.  

For me these are just parts of my life that have slowly changed over the years based on personal experiences and years of research and reading.  I sure sound crunchy…but I sure don’t feel crunchy.

I eat fast food more than I care to admit, I swear at my kids when I’m overwhelmed, and I can’t stand the idea of using anything but Pantene for my hair.  I love my CoffeeMate creamer and red bull is my got to when I can’t keep up. I hardly volunteer anymore because I have social anxiety and quite frankly can’t identify with most moms I’d meet anyway. 

Like most moms, My kids come first but I still dream of a life beyond them.  I look forward to peace and quiet and a break in responsibility when my kids visit their dad’s house. (I’m divorced and am remarried too!)  I love being able to sit alone and binge watch Narcos on Netflix while my 8 month old nurses to the sound of Spanish profanity and gun shots (but not for much longer).

I even put wine in my coffee cup while I make dinner to take the edge off of the stress of four kids: one of which is a vegetarian who eats hotdogs and McDonald’s chicken nuggets…….. but I digress!  Every time my kids go to school and their homework isn’t done, or I forget a doctor’s appointment; and every time I check out and give up on a balanced meal (mac and cheese dinners and TV babysitter) I feel like I’m failing.  I certainly don’t feel crunchy! 

It’s in these moments that I feel comradery with all the other moms like me who care and worry about their parenting; who just want to be a good mom, whatever the journey!  I feel like a human mother, that no adjective or nationality can divide.  When I feel the worst about myself as a mother, I remember that at the heart of it all, I’m doing my best and so are you.  It doesn’t matter if we agree on the issues, or if we see ourselves as crunchy or not, we have to remember that being a mom is the hardest job in the world.  We shouldn’t separate ourselves with labels or let the labels we give others keep us from leaning on each other’s experiences.

 This year I want to be a better mom!  But also more encouraging and accepting of other moms.  I’m not alone and neither are you!

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